News from Nan

Another Ariannaism: Contar. Can you guess what that means? Keilan plays it. It is in many rock bands.

New book: The Art of Growing Up by Veronique Vienne.

This book goes along the lines of my musings (and bordering panic) regarding getting older. I bet the author is in her 50's b/c she references this age group a lot. Here is a brief outline with some quotes I enjoyed or found helpful:

1. The Art of Beginning
How old would you be if you didn't know your age? Begin anew by throwing out old things...there is no need to hold onto what's obsolete. One never loses what one throws away.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
You begin to grow up when it dawns on you that all your alleged setbacks are in fact opportunities.
Some birthday wishes: lifetime season tickets to the symphony (ballet, opera, plays, musicals, all culture), clean windows every day, a huge dog, like a St Bernard, as a pet, a social secretary, housekeeper, cook, spiritual understanding-getting closer to my God, the time and money to start an art, dance, (fill in the blank) school-and be a student, a good relationship with your children, access to smart people, a pain-free body, the courage to give up the past, unexpected joy. The things one wants the most are not things after all.
2. The Art of Changing
Define progress as taking 2 small steps forward for every step back.
Don't exaggerate your weaknesses.
Remember late is never too late.
Stick to the schedule.
Continue what you've begun.
Don't seek closure.
Think of being up in years as a novelty.
3.The Art of Changing
"Fools that we are-we pray for a long life but fear old age" Chinese proverb.
The best age-defying beauty tip-SMILE!
4. The Art of Knowing
"Nothing was so unfamiliar and startling to me as my own thoughts" Thoreau.
Repeated self examination is a matter of survival.

A quiz for you: What do these expressions really mean? (answers on a future post):
A face that launched a 1,000 ships
An Iliad of woes
The last infirmity of a noble mind
In 2 shakes of a lamb's tail
Knee-high to a grasshopper
Quicker than hell can scorch a feather
To fiddle while Rome burns
To flutter the dovecote
To walk the chalk
To wear callouses on your elbows
To know a hawk from a handsaw
To syncopate the long hand
*For each new word we learn, we create a 1,000 mental connections.
5. The Art of Shining
Become visible by stepping out of other people's blind spots. Don't age typically-be radical, be different: play soccer with the kids, go to a rock concert with teens, etc. We have to replace the old cliches about aging with brand new concepts that don't relegate any of us to invisibility.
To be an adult is to be on one's own.
Love your age, stand your ground, refuse to be labelled.
Never apologize for your age.
The secret of eternal youth-cultivate the art of not complaining.
6. The Art of Inspiring
Inspiring someone can be as simple as listening.
Love is an incentive for reaching beyond our usual capacities.
Plans are one thing, life is another-Claudette Colbert
7. The Art of Choosing
Bless the day when you discover that good is good enough and excellence is onerous.
Life is sweeter when the best is yet to be.
We can choose our mistakes and in doing so we can take full credit for the inscurtable prospect of tomorrow.
Personal differences can be shared in unison.
One way to save the world: Stash it away in your mind. Be the eyewitness of all you see. don't miss a thing. Be there when nothing can console a crying baby. Stay put even though a friend offends you. Don't look away when someone needs help. Be the designated observer of grief and wonder. Take an imprint of all moments and hide them where only you know, then take very good care of yourself.
Nothing is lost. All that you have ever seen is always with you.-Henri Cartier Bresson.
8. The Art of Succeeding
Celebrate others' successes.
New Rules of glamour:
Treat others as you want to be treated (sound familiar?)
Figure out what you do best and do it.
No meetings over 30 minutes!
Wearing off-rack clothes as if made for you
Wearying of generalizations
Replace youth with mystery
9. The Art of Laughing
Make them laugh by keeping a straight face. Laugh at yourself.
10. The Art of Becoming
We grow up one day at a time without ever being able to study the master plan (but we can know the Master!)
Don't look back to find out where you are going-the answer is ahead of you. Become someone you haven't met yet.
We are always the same age inside.

My own revelation: One thing I have learned about myself. I experience and think about everything that comes my way to the fullest. Perhaps this is why my mind is so crowded most of the time and why I am frequently on a roller coaster ride of emotions. The good parts are that I am very rarely apathetic and will probably have no regrets in the area of experiencing life to the fullest. The bad: those who know me have labelled me anxious, "spazzy", and emotional. My response: It is better than being bland or dull.

Enjoy all the existential writings.