Parents and children

From Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen:

Regarding parents and children:

"children are not properties to own and rule over, but gifts to cherish and care for. Our children are our most important guests, who enter into our home, ask for careful attention, stay for a while and then leave to follow their own way. Children are stragngers whom we have to get to know.They have their own style, their own rhythm and their own capacities for good and evil."

"What parents can offer is a home, a place that is receptive but also has the safe boundarries within which their children can develop and discover what is helpful and what is harmful....can ask questions without fear and can experiment with life without experiencing rejection."

"many parents suffer from deep guilt feelings toward their children, thinking that they are responsible for everything their sons or daughters do. but again...children are not properties that we can control...they are guests... gifts from God"

"The temptation is... to cling to our children, to use them for our own unfulfilled needs and to hold on to them, suggesting in many direct and indirect ways that they owe us so much."

"A good host (in this case, parent) is not only able to receive his guests with honor and offfer them all the care they need but also to let them go when their time to leave has come."

This part really hit home for me as I tend to fall into the temptations to own my children and that I am totally responsible for them and only need to control them more. It scares me to think that one of my children might go astray, but that is where trusting God comes in. And therein lies a lot of my problems-often, I really don't trust God!