Nancy's new stuff

It's been a while for me, Nancy, making any new postings, so I have a bunch of "random" thoughts, so bear with me.

My friend reads our blog and couldn't figure out who posted what between Dave and I so I promise to at least identify myself somewhere.

New movies worth seeing (all picked by Dave I might add. He is becoming quite the philosopher/psychologist lately-think "deep thoughts"):

Rain on Me with Adam Sandler (not funny or crude at all believe it or not)
Alone (Irish movie)
Evening (Meryl Streep, Gwen Close, Vanessa Redgrave)

Get ready to think, feel and cry.

Culture: 2 weeks ago we took both our daughters to the Richmond ballet's performance of , "A Midsummer Night's Dream" . We have been going to these ballet productions for the last 2 yrs or so and have enjoyed them plus they are cheaper than Kennedy center and just as good to our novice eyes. Anyway, what an amazing production. It was a great one to take the girls to for the first time. It had an excellent orchestra which played several pieces on their own and were portrayed on the big screen along with the energetic conductor. Then there were 2 narrators who were reading Shakespeare well. (This is based on the Shakespeare comedy/play by the same name so the plot was amazing). There were 2 opera singers who did several pieces with dancers performing around them. To top it off there was a women's chorus adding to the mix. The scenery was excellent and the ballet dancing was as usual superb. I cannot recommend it enough especailly if you are trying out your first ballet or entrance into culture. It has been the best one I have seen so far. The girls loved it. AND... IT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Servant Leadership: I want to recommend a person who has really had an impact in my life and I am not even in business per se. His name if John Maxwell. He has CD's and books. He is a Christian business leader and very successful. My husband's company subscribes to him and I would highly recommend his books. He said: "If you cannot lead yourself, how can you lead others?" Even pastors and church leaders go to his seminars. Dave and I will go to one in April.

Books: I have read 2 books by Joshua Harris called, "I kissed dating goodbye" and "Boy meets girl". They are amazing and I wish I had read them and been taught that when I was "dating" and in misery half the time. I plan to teach it to my children and asked if Dave and I could teach it in our youth group. I recommend them to any parent or church leader with teens. It has even helped me currently in my own marriage believe it or not. That is because its premise is that we get married not to see what we can get but to glorify God and serve another. Before marriage we treat the opposite sex as brothers and sisters to care for and as God's other children. New perspective.

School: I have less than 3 weeks to be done with this course but it has been very good. It is on all the 11 psychological theories. Makes one think. I can't believe in April that I will be a quarter of the way done with my degree!

Perfect husband: Dave has been continuing his perfect husband streak by doing a beautiful job on the house painting (basement and dining room). I can't wait to see his wainscotting that he plans to create himself and put up in the dining room.
He also remembers all math! and helps both David and Elizabeth with their work in math. He has also been science fair dad this month with Jonny. I do not remember math!
He has been working on our budget and I made a list of dreams for trips and the house (both my favorite things to spend my money on after family). I asked about redoing the floors in the basement (I despise wall to wall carpeting) and he said probably not until 2012. This made me discouraged at first but then I admired him because he isn't willing to let us get in trouble with money by gratifying all his own (we need and he would really like new computers-7+ yrs old) and my wants. That is a true leader.
He tells me I am beautiful (see below) and "I love you" constantly and that never gets old.

Midlife crisis: I think I am in a midlife crisis but not the kind we hear about a lot that men do-leave wife for a young fluzy and get a new sports car. I have not enjoyed 40 and now I am 41 so I am in the thick of it. Mine has to do with transitions and decisions. Eric Erickson had stages that he believed we went through in our lives and at each stage is a crisis that we must successfully resolve or we will get stuck and experience dissatisfaction. I am in the initiative vs stagnation stage and I can really feel that.
1. Getting old: I can really see this since I turned 40 and in a society that emphasizes the outside and beauty and youth, it makes it even harder and more obvious. I told Dave that I used to feel beautiful just by myself-no makeup, hair dye, etc. Then, in my 30's, felt better with nice clothes and makeup and the hair dying started. Now even with that, I do not feel beautiful. Everyone seems younger and prettier (it doesn't help that my kids are entering teens AND I work in youth group, so I hang around a lot of young people). Hence, Dave comes in with "You are so beautiful" and I struggle to believe him because I want to so bad. Then God reminds me of what really matters and I settle.
2. Career: I am still working as a nurse but there have been some changes at the hospital and the shift I worked for 10 yrs has been taken away from me. So now I sit at a desk mostly and make phone calls. I am PRN which means I work as needed so they don't consider me much there. Then I am going to school for Counseling-bit of a career change. This will take me about 8 yrs and I have barely completed one so I am in a long transition with that. I just keep persevering and do not give up.
3. Kids: My son really changed this past year from a boy to a man at least on the outside and it really struck me that I am entering into a new stage with my kids. I not longer have babies, toddlers, or even preschoolers anymore and this is strange. I like them and do not want another baby, but it is still strange to have 1 teen and 2 tweens and a school ager. David especially though, has hit me with the reality that they will soon be gone and what will I do with myself? Another transition which requires a lot of thought and thankfully, I am starting now and have time. Already I try to treat David and Elizabeth differently, but it is hard.

I am crying as I write some of this but I am glad I am facing all these things and not burying my head under the sand. I used to hear women say all this especially about the kids "enjoy them while they are little" and while they were little I wanted to punch these women out, but now I get it much to my chagrine. So I make time for the kids, try to hug and kiss them a lot (hard with David b/c he is so big-5'7' and 150lbs. and he pulls away), and talk to them and listen. I teach them about God, life, experiences and about Dave and I and our relationship. I pray and hope they are listening and that God is speaking to their hearts.

I think I may write a book on turning 40 or hitting this midlife realization that some of my dreams did not come true, some did and some still may. I will include marriage, kids, jobs, careers, experiences, and growth in the Lord. Maybe it will help someone else as some older women have helped me. My one friend who is 57 told me, "When I get down, I just get up, get busy, and serve others". She is absolutely beautiful both inside and out. May we all find mentors to mentor us and others that we can mentor.