News from Nan

Another Ariannaism: Contar. Can you guess what that means? Keilan plays it. It is in many rock bands.

New book: The Art of Growing Up by Veronique Vienne.

This book goes along the lines of my musings (and bordering panic) regarding getting older. I bet the author is in her 50's b/c she references this age group a lot. Here is a brief outline with some quotes I enjoyed or found helpful:

1. The Art of Beginning
How old would you be if you didn't know your age? Begin anew by throwing out old things...there is no need to hold onto what's obsolete. One never loses what one throws away.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
You begin to grow up when it dawns on you that all your alleged setbacks are in fact opportunities.
Some birthday wishes: lifetime season tickets to the symphony (ballet, opera, plays, musicals, all culture), clean windows every day, a huge dog, like a St Bernard, as a pet, a social secretary, housekeeper, cook, spiritual understanding-getting closer to my God, the time and money to start an art, dance, (fill in the blank) school-and be a student, a good relationship with your children, access to smart people, a pain-free body, the courage to give up the past, unexpected joy. The things one wants the most are not things after all.
2. The Art of Changing
Define progress as taking 2 small steps forward for every step back.
Don't exaggerate your weaknesses.
Remember late is never too late.
Stick to the schedule.
Continue what you've begun.
Don't seek closure.
Think of being up in years as a novelty.
3.The Art of Changing
"Fools that we are-we pray for a long life but fear old age" Chinese proverb.
The best age-defying beauty tip-SMILE!
4. The Art of Knowing
"Nothing was so unfamiliar and startling to me as my own thoughts" Thoreau.
Repeated self examination is a matter of survival.

A quiz for you: What do these expressions really mean? (answers on a future post):
A face that launched a 1,000 ships
An Iliad of woes
The last infirmity of a noble mind
In 2 shakes of a lamb's tail
Knee-high to a grasshopper
Quicker than hell can scorch a feather
To fiddle while Rome burns
To flutter the dovecote
To walk the chalk
To wear callouses on your elbows
To know a hawk from a handsaw
To syncopate the long hand
*For each new word we learn, we create a 1,000 mental connections.
5. The Art of Shining
Become visible by stepping out of other people's blind spots. Don't age typically-be radical, be different: play soccer with the kids, go to a rock concert with teens, etc. We have to replace the old cliches about aging with brand new concepts that don't relegate any of us to invisibility.
To be an adult is to be on one's own.
Love your age, stand your ground, refuse to be labelled.
Never apologize for your age.
The secret of eternal youth-cultivate the art of not complaining.
6. The Art of Inspiring
Inspiring someone can be as simple as listening.
Love is an incentive for reaching beyond our usual capacities.
Plans are one thing, life is another-Claudette Colbert
7. The Art of Choosing
Bless the day when you discover that good is good enough and excellence is onerous.
Life is sweeter when the best is yet to be.
We can choose our mistakes and in doing so we can take full credit for the inscurtable prospect of tomorrow.
Personal differences can be shared in unison.
One way to save the world: Stash it away in your mind. Be the eyewitness of all you see. don't miss a thing. Be there when nothing can console a crying baby. Stay put even though a friend offends you. Don't look away when someone needs help. Be the designated observer of grief and wonder. Take an imprint of all moments and hide them where only you know, then take very good care of yourself.
Nothing is lost. All that you have ever seen is always with you.-Henri Cartier Bresson.
8. The Art of Succeeding
Celebrate others' successes.
New Rules of glamour:
Treat others as you want to be treated (sound familiar?)
Figure out what you do best and do it.
No meetings over 30 minutes!
Wearing off-rack clothes as if made for you
Wearying of generalizations
Replace youth with mystery
9. The Art of Laughing
Make them laugh by keeping a straight face. Laugh at yourself.
10. The Art of Becoming
We grow up one day at a time without ever being able to study the master plan (but we can know the Master!)
Don't look back to find out where you are going-the answer is ahead of you. Become someone you haven't met yet.
We are always the same age inside.

My own revelation: One thing I have learned about myself. I experience and think about everything that comes my way to the fullest. Perhaps this is why my mind is so crowded most of the time and why I am frequently on a roller coaster ride of emotions. The good parts are that I am very rarely apathetic and will probably have no regrets in the area of experiencing life to the fullest. The bad: those who know me have labelled me anxious, "spazzy", and emotional. My response: It is better than being bland or dull.

Enjoy all the existential writings.

Hope

I could listen to this over and over...

...especially the lyrics:

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness

While not normally a fan of fiction books, Andrew Peterson has written a captivating, amusing, wondrous tale for all ages. On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness
really captivated my imagination and kept me wanting to know more about the wonderful, imaginary yet almost real world of the land of Skree.

In the quiet land of Skree, the Igiby children—Janner, his younger brother Tink, and their crippled sister Leeli—stumble upon the lost jewels of Anniera and determine to return them. Unfortunately, the scary-bad Gnag the Nameless seeks the jewels for his own evil ends… and so our band of friends, accompanied by their trust dog Nugget, must escape with the help of their mom and grandfather (who happens to be an ex-pirate). Their journey takes them through an inventively fantastical world of wonders, complete with memorable characters (like Gnag’s evil minions the Fangs and Peet the Sock Man), fanciful creatures (like sea dragons, snickbuzzards, toothy cows, flabbits, and bomnubbles), and captivating places (like the Books & Crannies bookstore, Shaggy Tavern, the Dark Sea of Darkness that divides the land of Skree from Anniera, the Glipwood Forest, Ice Prairies, and the Stony Mountains).

Through fast-paced storytelling, little ditties, songs, and poems, side-splitting asides, sensory descriptions of time and place, and characters rich in heart, courage, and smarts, Andrew Peterson has created a wondrous tale you’ll enjoy and treasure—just like those lost jewels.

As I read this, I wanted to know what happened in Anniera, who was the Sock Puppet man and how did he get like that, what were the family secrets and what were these jewels. Through rich imagery, funny stories, and rich descriptions, my mind painted a wonderful rich story.

I can't wait to read it to my children and see their faces as they follow the excitement of the Igiby children.

For another great review, read this review.

Naturopath

So I, Nancy, in addition to going to the chiropractor, have now gone to a naturopath who studies functional medicine. It is fascinating. I have to overhaul my diet (for example, no dairy, no soy, no white sugar, flour, etc), organic, more raw vegies and fruits, etc). She is also helping me take the supplements that I really need! I think I was buying whatever the studies said to buy and was spending more than what I will with her. I am getting blood tests and hair analysis and this funky pressure point test that help her determine where I am weak or dysfunctioning. So my food bill is going up but we are all going to eat healthier. (She is big on soups which does not make my kids happy but my kids will just have to "suck it up" literally). More later-have to go to work.

Some interesting tidbits on preventing and fighting cancer

John Hopkins Cancer Update AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY ("TRY, BEING THE KEY WORD) TO ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY. Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins:1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime. 3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastrointestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply. CANCER CELLS FEED ON: a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc. are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk cancer cells are being starved.c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruit help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it. 12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup. 13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells. 14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells. 15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.(PLEASE FORWARD IT TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT) CANCER UPDATE FROM JOHN HOPKINS HOSPITAL , U S - PLEASE READ 1. No plastic containers in micro.2. No water bottles in freezer.3. No plastic wrap in microwave. Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic. Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital , was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons. Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead. This is an article that should be sent to anyone important in your life.

Hockey Night

Last Tuesday, Elizabeth picked up 3 tickets to see the Washington Capitals against the Minnesota Wild. I took Jonny and Elizabeth to the game. Despite seats almost in the rafters, we still could see the flow of the game and the puck just as easily as if we were down closer.

Highlights for Jonny were watching the two fights break out. Elizabeth liked watching the action on the Jumbotron. The Capitals won 4-1. If they would have scored 6 goals, we would have had a pound of chicken wings for each ticket stub from Austin Grill. Of course, this past Monday night, they scored 6 goals in the first period.

Fine Stafford Dining

Last Saturday as part of family night, we ventured out to La Tierra, a Salvadoran/Mexican restaurant off of Rt 1 near Bloom. While the restaurant was empty except for the six of us, the service was outstanding and the food was Excellent...excellent...excellent. There was some great music in the background and soccer on the tube.

The owner came out and was extremely friendly. Nancy practiced her Spanish while he practiced his English. The papusas and tamales were some of the best we have ever experienced. The Salvadoran platter was great. The plaintains were sweet, not fried and salty like we have made ourselves. Did I mention the papusas were excellent? After the meal, the owner brought out free orders of flan and fried ice cream.

We highly recommend supporting this local restaurant. For less than $10/person, we came away with a great meal and a great time. They do have a kids meal (pizza, cheeseburger, hot dog, nuggets), however, Arianna had beans and a tortilla and said it was excellent.

Overall, even the great restaurant critic, Colby Garman, would enjoy the fine food of La Tierra.

On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness: Adventure. Peril. Lost Jewels. and the Fearsome Toothy Cows of Skree.

The FauthClan blog has been selected as part of Andrew Peterson's blog tour of his new book On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness: Adventure. Peril. Lost Jewels. and the Fearsome Toothy Cows of Skree.

You can read a quick review here. The official FauthClan review will be posted within two weeks. I am looking forward to reading this with the kids.

As part of the blog tour, the FauthClan blog will be giving away a free copy of the book. Once I determine how to do this, I will be posting the details.

Miscellaneous

Nancy says:

Correction:

The Irish movie recommended by Andrew Peterson that we saw having to do with musicians was called Once (not Alone). The main song on it was actually on the Academy Awards performed by the couple in the movie. Apparently they are more popular than I thought. She is only 17yrs old from Czech. He is Irish. Excellent movie-bad language in the beginning.

I have my big long paper to do this coming week and then I am done with another course! Finished the annoying test tonight. I decided I would rather write long papers. My next course much to my nervousness, is on statistical research. Math-yikes. Dave, help me.

Clogged toilets: Does anyone get as many clogged toilets as we do? They are almost clogging on a daily basis. I informed the kids that I was no longer going to de-clog them and also, instructed them all on the proper flushing technique to possibly avoid this problem (needless to say they giggled throughout). One does not want to call a plumber only to hear him say, "Well don't put so much in there. That will be $100." Any wisdom I am open. (I only wish my toilets were as open).

A new song on the Christian radio station I believe by Stephen Curtis Chapman called "Cinderella". It is about his daughter growing up and the different times of practicing dancing with daddy in preparation for some event-prom, wedding. He dances with her, all the time remembering that by midnight, she will be gone. I burst into tears. One daughter in 6th , one in 1st. Not too long and they will all be gone. (Yes, go ahead and say it. I am a sap!) I can't believe I am saying this when I vowed I wouldn't. When my kids were babies and I just wanted them to grow up and now they are quickly on their way. Everyone told me to enjoy them while they were little. Now I get it. Well, I have time to enjoy them still. We have instituted family night each week and other special times and trips, and so I am glad. We are watching all the Home Improvement episodes.

This is for Annie and anyone else who gets confused about how to spell my son's and my brother's name. Both of their names are Jonathan and if shortened are spelled: Jon or Jonny. No H.

Speaking of Jonny, I had a bit of a breakthrough with him the other day. He has been struggling in school not because he is stupid, but seems to have lack of motivation. For example, he still does not know his multiplication tables and I have gotten very frustrated over them for the last year or so. I asked him what is wrong and he said they were too hard. I told him lots of things were hard in life. " I am afraid I will never get it-especially the 8's", he said. He is afraid of failing, of not getting what he is supposed to get, of not being who he is supposed to be, or who people (esp. us) think he should be. Oh boy, I wonder where he got that from and now I wonder what to do? I told him he could do it and would get it eventually and that we would just work until he got it. So confusing to be a parent. I felt like a counselor already!

Happy Leap Day!

Oscar Award for Best Original Song- Once

Glen Hansard and partner Markéta Irglová won the Best Original Song Oscar for 'Falling Slowly' from the film 'Once', in which they starred.

"no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible," Irglova said during take two. "And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream, and don't give up. This song was written from the perspective of hope, and hope, at the end of the day, connects us all, no matter how different we are."

I'll have to show Kielan the replay of the performance and get his insight on the Hansard's guitar. It did look "well loved".

Teach us to number our days

Psalm 90:12 - Teach us to number our days...
Psalm 103:15 - As for man, his day's are like grass...

This past Wednesday, I had to drop off our car to get the oil changed. We had delayed and forgotten to do it earlier in the week, so after youth group, Nancy took the kids home and I went to Eddie's repaire on Courthouse road.

As I pulled in to Eddies, I looked across the street and saw a car upside down against a pole and about five guys around it. I got out and ran over to see what was going on. I yelled to see if anyone had called 911 as I could hear screaming and shouting. I anticipated either someone strapped in their seatbelt and waiting to get out or someone covered in a bunch of blood. As I looked in, all I could see was a part of an arm trapped under the car. Nearby was an 8 year old boy screaming for his mom, asking if he was hurt and bleeding. Over and over he kept asking the same question.

There was nothing we could do. Within a few minutes, fire and rescue arrived and took over. I went back across the street and dropped my keys in the drop box and waited for Nancy to pick me up.

As I have been processing this over the last two days, I'm reminded to pray more for the fire and rescue people in Stafford who deal with this on a frequent basis. We talk about it in church regularly but this drives it home.

I'm still thinking about "teach us to number our days...". It is a short time here on this earth. God, teach me more and teach me to value the truly valuable things.

Movie Review - Once

As Nancy mentioned in an early chapter, errr post, we have been watching some different movies. Reading through some end of year movie lists, the movie Once kept popping up. So, I thought, let's see what the buzz is about the movie.

Alone was an independent movie that received good reviews at some of the film festivals. Set in Dublin, Ireland, it tells the story of a song writer over the course of a week as he writes music, interacts with another younger woman he has met while performing on the street, his and her relationships with other people and his relationship with his dad.

The language is raw in the movie so if that bothers you, you've had your warning. It is in a deep Irish brogue so we used the English subtitles which did help.

The songwriting and music is amazing. It is almost considered a musical with all of the music being played throughout the movie. I'm impressed by the talents and abilities of musical people and how they can write music that moves and impacts people. To listen to the music, you can go to http://www.foxsearchlight.com/once/

This was a movie that I could have watched again and probably again. The story was not your typical Hollywood ending. I specifically enjoyed the father/son interaction.

Overall, excellent movie. Raw language but great storyline and insight into relationships.

Correction

I just wanted to correct my last entry. Erickson's stage that I find myself in is generativity (not initiative-that's toddlers!) vs. stagnation. Anyway, the point is not to stagnate. Which brings me to thoughts of my friend, Annie's, mother. She flew in the other day and I was able to chat with her a bit in the nursery at church. While I was chatting, she certainly was not stagnating! She was doing all kinds of sit ups and crunches the whole time and never did sit still. When Darcy climbed on, she just kept crunching up with more "weight". I hope to be like this, and encouragingly, Annie says I already am.

The CRACK IS BACK!
I have returned to the chiropractor due to horendous headaches mostly, but also other minor chronic ailments that have not been relieved by any of the several doctors I have gone to (or the several medications). I feel better already in only 2 weeks. I am journaling this and will periodically let you all know differences as I go through my year. So far, no headaches, more energy, sleep better. We shall see.

Nancy

Nancy's new stuff

It's been a while for me, Nancy, making any new postings, so I have a bunch of "random" thoughts, so bear with me.

My friend reads our blog and couldn't figure out who posted what between Dave and I so I promise to at least identify myself somewhere.

New movies worth seeing (all picked by Dave I might add. He is becoming quite the philosopher/psychologist lately-think "deep thoughts"):

Rain on Me with Adam Sandler (not funny or crude at all believe it or not)
Alone (Irish movie)
Evening (Meryl Streep, Gwen Close, Vanessa Redgrave)

Get ready to think, feel and cry.

Culture: 2 weeks ago we took both our daughters to the Richmond ballet's performance of , "A Midsummer Night's Dream" . We have been going to these ballet productions for the last 2 yrs or so and have enjoyed them plus they are cheaper than Kennedy center and just as good to our novice eyes. Anyway, what an amazing production. It was a great one to take the girls to for the first time. It had an excellent orchestra which played several pieces on their own and were portrayed on the big screen along with the energetic conductor. Then there were 2 narrators who were reading Shakespeare well. (This is based on the Shakespeare comedy/play by the same name so the plot was amazing). There were 2 opera singers who did several pieces with dancers performing around them. To top it off there was a women's chorus adding to the mix. The scenery was excellent and the ballet dancing was as usual superb. I cannot recommend it enough especailly if you are trying out your first ballet or entrance into culture. It has been the best one I have seen so far. The girls loved it. AND... IT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Servant Leadership: I want to recommend a person who has really had an impact in my life and I am not even in business per se. His name if John Maxwell. He has CD's and books. He is a Christian business leader and very successful. My husband's company subscribes to him and I would highly recommend his books. He said: "If you cannot lead yourself, how can you lead others?" Even pastors and church leaders go to his seminars. Dave and I will go to one in April.

Books: I have read 2 books by Joshua Harris called, "I kissed dating goodbye" and "Boy meets girl". They are amazing and I wish I had read them and been taught that when I was "dating" and in misery half the time. I plan to teach it to my children and asked if Dave and I could teach it in our youth group. I recommend them to any parent or church leader with teens. It has even helped me currently in my own marriage believe it or not. That is because its premise is that we get married not to see what we can get but to glorify God and serve another. Before marriage we treat the opposite sex as brothers and sisters to care for and as God's other children. New perspective.

School: I have less than 3 weeks to be done with this course but it has been very good. It is on all the 11 psychological theories. Makes one think. I can't believe in April that I will be a quarter of the way done with my degree!

Perfect husband: Dave has been continuing his perfect husband streak by doing a beautiful job on the house painting (basement and dining room). I can't wait to see his wainscotting that he plans to create himself and put up in the dining room.
He also remembers all math! and helps both David and Elizabeth with their work in math. He has also been science fair dad this month with Jonny. I do not remember math!
He has been working on our budget and I made a list of dreams for trips and the house (both my favorite things to spend my money on after family). I asked about redoing the floors in the basement (I despise wall to wall carpeting) and he said probably not until 2012. This made me discouraged at first but then I admired him because he isn't willing to let us get in trouble with money by gratifying all his own (we need and he would really like new computers-7+ yrs old) and my wants. That is a true leader.
He tells me I am beautiful (see below) and "I love you" constantly and that never gets old.

Midlife crisis: I think I am in a midlife crisis but not the kind we hear about a lot that men do-leave wife for a young fluzy and get a new sports car. I have not enjoyed 40 and now I am 41 so I am in the thick of it. Mine has to do with transitions and decisions. Eric Erickson had stages that he believed we went through in our lives and at each stage is a crisis that we must successfully resolve or we will get stuck and experience dissatisfaction. I am in the initiative vs stagnation stage and I can really feel that.
1. Getting old: I can really see this since I turned 40 and in a society that emphasizes the outside and beauty and youth, it makes it even harder and more obvious. I told Dave that I used to feel beautiful just by myself-no makeup, hair dye, etc. Then, in my 30's, felt better with nice clothes and makeup and the hair dying started. Now even with that, I do not feel beautiful. Everyone seems younger and prettier (it doesn't help that my kids are entering teens AND I work in youth group, so I hang around a lot of young people). Hence, Dave comes in with "You are so beautiful" and I struggle to believe him because I want to so bad. Then God reminds me of what really matters and I settle.
2. Career: I am still working as a nurse but there have been some changes at the hospital and the shift I worked for 10 yrs has been taken away from me. So now I sit at a desk mostly and make phone calls. I am PRN which means I work as needed so they don't consider me much there. Then I am going to school for Counseling-bit of a career change. This will take me about 8 yrs and I have barely completed one so I am in a long transition with that. I just keep persevering and do not give up.
3. Kids: My son really changed this past year from a boy to a man at least on the outside and it really struck me that I am entering into a new stage with my kids. I not longer have babies, toddlers, or even preschoolers anymore and this is strange. I like them and do not want another baby, but it is still strange to have 1 teen and 2 tweens and a school ager. David especially though, has hit me with the reality that they will soon be gone and what will I do with myself? Another transition which requires a lot of thought and thankfully, I am starting now and have time. Already I try to treat David and Elizabeth differently, but it is hard.

I am crying as I write some of this but I am glad I am facing all these things and not burying my head under the sand. I used to hear women say all this especially about the kids "enjoy them while they are little" and while they were little I wanted to punch these women out, but now I get it much to my chagrine. So I make time for the kids, try to hug and kiss them a lot (hard with David b/c he is so big-5'7' and 150lbs. and he pulls away), and talk to them and listen. I teach them about God, life, experiences and about Dave and I and our relationship. I pray and hope they are listening and that God is speaking to their hearts.

I think I may write a book on turning 40 or hitting this midlife realization that some of my dreams did not come true, some did and some still may. I will include marriage, kids, jobs, careers, experiences, and growth in the Lord. Maybe it will help someone else as some older women have helped me. My one friend who is 57 told me, "When I get down, I just get up, get busy, and serve others". She is absolutely beautiful both inside and out. May we all find mentors to mentor us and others that we can mentor.

Your Homework Assignment

In college, I took a lot of courses in calculus, thermodynamics, differential equations, partial differential equations, etc. We were required to do multiple proofs and solve advanced equations. Often the professor would solve part of the problem and then say "solve the rest as part of your homework assignment".

Which brings me to a "holiday" Arianna-ism. When my parents visited over Christmas, we were out driving around Virginia. In Virginia, we have these gas station/quick marts called FasMart where you can get gas,chips,soda (pop), fried chicken, etc. It is pronounced Fass Mart.

Arianna tells her grandpa that if you switch the F and the M in FasMart you get...The rest is your homework assignment.

Garmans - Iceland

As I read the following quote, I thought of the Garmans possibly headed to Iceland.

"My Bible is full of those kind of heroes - the shaking-at-the-knees men and women thinking there are countless people more qualified than they are and wondering why the cosmos has deferred a particular task, job, position, title or dream upon them."

Our prayers are continually with you as while there may be more people more qualified than you, God has planned this from the foundations of the earth.

Community - Fullness of God

Andrew Peterson said “It takes all of us united together living now and all who came before us in ages past and in ages to come to equal the fulness exhibited by Jesus Christ on earth.”

In our Western world culture with the "pull yourselves up by the bootstraps"mentality, this is a deep, refreshing thought. So often, my Christian walk is about how I am interacting with God. It's not about how I'm interacting with each of my brothers and sisters in Christ. Sure, I may listen to something you have to say and you may teach me something, but overall, that is a rare ocurrence. If I can figure it out on my own, I can increase my own value and self importance. Normally it is a luxury and a privilege for me to let anyone inside my walk with God.

But I need you, you need me, we need one another to build the true community and fullness of God. When we are united in love, in spirit and in a greater purpose than just ourselves, we become the body of Christ, his bride and the hope for this world.

In Colossians 2, Paul writes "For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."

Somehow we become beautiful when we open our lives to each other, sharing life, giving life, being knit together in love to reach all the riches and the knowledge of God's mystery in Christ.

stupid little things are not really stupid

My stupid little things mean a lot to me. They are a break from life, a change of pace, a breeze if you will.

My stupid little thing right now is staying up until midnight, adding about 160 movies to our Netflix queue and reminiscing about all the great (or some not so great) movies I've seen. I put some in from the 80's that I enjoyed as a kid in hopes that my kids may like them (Clash of the Titans-now that brings me back-can't wait to see Medusa with the snake hair).

I like staying up late. The house is so quiet, I get a lot done or do stupid little things that I can't do normally. I pay for it usually in the morning but once in a while, I sure do enjoy it. I guess I am a bit of a night person still. Perhaps I will be one of those "sundowners" (people who stay up all night roaming) when I am old. God help my kids!

Remember the famous quote (from where I do not know): It's the little things in life that make life grand. (Wow! I sound like my mother!)

By the way, reading blogs may be considered a stupid little thing but I sure enjoy it along with millions of others.

Book Update

Finished "The Devil in the White City". An excellent book about the Chicago's World Fair in the 1890's and how the city of Chicago worked to bring in the World's Fair. Amongst the World's Fair is a serial killer. The history and people that were connected to the fair are amazing (Cracker Jack, Ferris Wheel, Walt Disney). At that time period, there were lots of people losing jobs, banks failing and a tough time in the US.

Recommend reading it for the historical value but the added insight into serial killers only added to the excellence of this book.

Stupid Little Stuff That Makes Life Better

I'm a huge baseball fan, especially the Minnesota Twins. I like baseball more than any other sport, even football and NASCAR. Recently I've been reading Joe Posnanski's blog at http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/. He is a baseball writer in Kansas City who talks a lot of sports but will throw in commentary on politics/life/being a dad. He doesn't seem to like Dan Marino, but that's okay.

He recently wrote a column talking about the Stupid Little Stuff that makes life better. Stuff like waiting to read the credits in a movie, Diet Pepsi/Diet Coke, Chinese Restaurants that pile food on your plate, the 60 minutes clock. The comments are great to read as well.

So, some of the Stupid Little Stuff That Makes Life Better

- Fresh roasted coffee (home roasted). No coffee place including Starbucks can make coffee as good as a home roast. Nancy and I went to a restaurant in Richmond that served their coffee in a coffee press. What a restaurant. Even the food was good.

- Coming home on a Sunday night and hearing Jon Miller and Joe Morgan calling a baseball game on ESPN. I don't even have to watch the game or care about the teams. I love listening to them call a game.

- Chinese places such as the Panda Express do pile on the Chinese food.

What are some of your Stupid Little Things that make life better?

New Bloggers

Bobby O has joined the blogging community. Read his obscure revelations at http://bobbyohasablog.blogspot.com/

Also, Jonathan Burke at http://burke-nation.blogspot.com/

Stitches and Drains and Dressings, OH MY!

So I am recovering and other than pain and tight dressings and these annoying drains, I am catching up on some of the home bound things I like to do like reading, writing, scrapbooking, e-mailing, blogging, school work (well lets not go too far), etc. I have a nice little set up here on the couch while my stomach decides to heal back together hopefully tighter without any holes in it.

Today, I had to go to the Doc and get stitches taken out (felt like little needles), dressing off (along with some skin), and the worst, one of the drains out (a bit of a painful and weird experience). The nurse was glad I did not hit her or pass out, neither of which I do although I would sometimes welcome the passing out part. Dave would have passed out today for sure although God bless him, he did do the drain emptying at least 2x. I have a new lighter dressing, one drain left, and a few stitches left to take out-if all goes well, probably on Thursday. I have pain pills but am scrounging around for some Valium!

But people are kind by bringing dinner and doing errands and schlepping my kids to various places, God bless them all.

I am getting out of some of winter's cold at least for a bit over 2 weeks.

Which books, dear are not non-fiction?

New Reading Material

The end of a year always brings out people's favorite books or books that they enjoyed over the last year. It has given me some new books to read over the next few months:

Among them:

Schulz and Peanuts: A Biography

How Ronald Reagan Changed My Life

Gilead

The devil in the white city : murder, magic, and madness at the fair that changed America

Orthodoxy: The Classic Account of a Remarkable Christian Experience

Best book that I read last year:

The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes Lives by Dallas Willard.

Yes, Nan, some of them are not strictly non-fiction. I know that will shock you.

What we did with OUR snowday

Our snowday wasn't as exciting as this or this. However, it was a different experience as Nancy was at Mary Washington Hospital finally fixing her hernia on the third attempt. After about a two hour before surgery experience, four hours of surgery and then two plus hours to recover, she was all fixed up and headed home. A little sore, but doing well all things considered.

And, I didn't faint at the site of blood.

ITCHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been coughing for over 6weeks now and have struggled with lots of headaches in November. I have started itching all over in the last 2 weeks. So I made an appointment with an allergist before Christmas and went to that appointment today. I had been to an allergist before but not since 1992 or there abouts. I had forgotten what it was like. 2 breathing tests, 1 breathing treatment, 64 skin pricks on back, 20 dermal injections on each arm, 1 large needle in the butt, and a partridge in a pear tree (well, that was not included in the appt). I got 3 new perscriptions and still need to do patch tests for chemicals (perfumes and such). I am hoping to get rid of the cough and itching before my surgery on January 17th (I can't imagine having abdominal surgery and coughing my head off and itching all over!). Needless to say I am even more itchy now because I was very allergic to 9 things: dust mites (no surprise-covered my pillows and bed with dust mite blocking covers), CATS! (surprise), grasses, pollen from certain trees (no surprise), cockroaches (yuck). Those pin pricks swelled up and became very itchy on my back. Even with the cream and an antihistamine I am still itching as I write this. I got a steroid shot which I hope helps with it all and after the patches will go back on either my old antihistamine or the new one whichever works. I feel like I have lots of mosquito bites. I just hope this all works. The doctor was great and his office is literally down the street in my neighborhood. I will eventually also get allergy shots which I did in the past and felt like they worked so hopefully.

On another note, Christmas and New Year's was fun with family and friends, and now I am cleaning up a storm and getting decorations down before school starts again (January 14th) and my surgery (January 17th). Good luck to me. I am halfway on the deep cleaning.

Here's to 2008!

What to do with 18 year olds!

Lately I have been thinking about what I will do when my children turn 18 or thereabouts. The reason I am thinking of this is 1. I am a planner, 2. I have always looked ahead (way ahead obviously), 3. Women are revealing their struggles to me with their own 18yrs old, 4. My son is over 14 so it is coming up. Mostly the struggle and anxiety occurs when the child does not go down the right path. But I wonder, is it the path we as parents want them to go down, or do we consider that there might be another path that of course, God knows. When the kid is failing a class, is it always bad? When she is moody and doesn't want to talk or is always out, does it rub us the wrong way? When he drifts from God and church, what is God doing (or to our thinking, not doing)? Is God not answering our prayers or are we just missing the answer? Can we trust Him? This is our kid! Or is he really ours? Can we love, trust and rest in God in all this? Can we love the kid through the rough spots? These are questions I ask myself and other women that our coming to me. We wish God would shout down the answer, but He is. He whispers, "I am enough". A current song on the radio lately thrills me every time I hear it. It's main phrase is:
"Your grace is enough for me". I just wonder, do I really believe that? Do you?

Lots of things b/c I haven't written in a long time

I may ramble but need to get these things out:

I finished my last difficult, annoying class on Nov 10th and pulled off an A for which I am grateful because it was very challenging to me and took a lot of my time, energy and effort. I almost quit, but I will readjust some things when my next class starts in January (work less, less classes,etc)

My husband gave me our Christmas gift early-he bought the new Nikon digital camera with those 2 nice lenses on it. It is so much better than our old Kodak. So we are clicking away.

My house is all decked out-It is really beautiful this year!It has the most decorations I have ever had. I really enjoy Christmas. One of our Pastors this week in church reminded us not to lose sight of our need for the Savior-our horrible, ugly sin and our turning away from our Maker. Isaiah 9 and 11 have brought me to tears thinking about how my great God made Himself nothing (think about it-He started out as a little fertilized egg just like the rest of us) to save us from our filth and ugliness. How could I be proud after that when He is so humble? I could I be so aloof when He is so approachable? How could I want anything else when He is everything? So I celebrate Christmas with a great bang because of Jesus and His worthiness to be celebrated and enjoyed!

So we missed Thanksgiving in NYC-disappointing. My brother had to go to sea early. But we will go another time. We had our good friends over and ate a lot!

I just finished the book by Thomas Brooks, a puritan, written in 1652 (although it might as well been written today for its practicality) called: Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices. It was excellent. Here are some snippets but I would encourage you to read it:

Devices against the great and honorable of the earth:

Satan works them to make it their business to seek themselves, to seek how to greaten themselves, to raise themselves, to enrich themselves, to secure themselves.

Remedy 1:Self-seeking is a sin that will put men upon a world of sins, upon sins not only against the law of God, the rules of the gospel, but that are against the very laws of nature, that are so much darkened by the fall of man.

Remedy 2:Self-seeking makes a person become a servant to the creature. Self-seeking will make a man say anything, do anything and be anything to please the lusts of others, and to get advantages upon others.

Remedy 3:Dwell upon those dreadful curses and woes that are from heaven denounced against self-seekers.

Remedy 4: Self-seekers are self-losers and self-destroyers. He that is too much for himself, fails to be good to others.

Remedy 5:Dwell upon the famous examples of those worthy saints that have denied themselves and preferred the public good before their own particular advantage. (Moses, Daniel, Christ)

Remedy 6: Self is a great hinderance to divine things. Self-seeking blinds the soul so it cannot see the beauty of Christ nor an excellency in holiness. It distempers the palate so that it cannot taste the sweetness of the Word of God, the ways of God, nor in the society of the people of God. It hardens the heart against all the entreaties of Christ. There is not a greater hindrance to all the duties of piety than self-seeking.

Another remedy for disunity of the saints is:

To be much in self-judging.Were Christian hearts more taken up in judging themselves than condemning others, they would not be so apt to judge and censure others, and to carry it sourly and bitterly towards others that differ from them.

Labor to be clothed with humility. Humility fits for the highest services and yet will not neglect the lowest services. Humility will make a man bless him that curses him and pray for those that persecute him. Humility will make a man quiet and content in the meanest conditions...preserve him from envy. Did Christians more abound in humility, they would be less bitter, froward and sour... and more gentle, meek, and sweet in their spirits and practices. Humility will make a man have high thoughts of others and low thoughts of a man's self. Were Christians more humble, there would be less fire and more love among them than there is now.

This convicted me. What about you? This brings me to something my husband expressed recently. He basically thanked me for aruing with him! He was glad I was struggling to keep our marriage strong, but I thought it was quite humble of him. How often he takes my sharp tongue and is just silent or even blesses me instead. How much I have to learn from Jesus' example of humility, from Dave, and from others in my life. Here's a new year's resolution for us all: try to either be silent or answer kindly, gently, quietly when someone is sharp or even nasty to you. Whew! That will take not only all year but the rest of our lives.

Being a Good Host/other happenings

You may recall from some recent postings here that I was talking about the Reaching Out book and mentioning that people are guests and we need to create a free safe space for them in our lives and homes. Now we talk about how to become a good host:

"Once we become poor, we can be a good host." If you are poor you don't own anything so everything is for everyone else and you have nothing to lose. It is hard for them to hurt you when you don't cling to anything and you are willing to give all. Remember in Matthew "Blessed are the poor in spirit"-they are the humble.

"Poverty is the inner disposition that allows us to take away our defenses and convert our enemies into friends. We only perceive the stranger as an enemy as long as we have something to defend." It is hard to think we don't own all this stuff and even the people around us, but the truth is, we don't. God says all the silver and gold are mine! Everything is God's, including the people and children in our lives.

"Turning the other cheek means showing our enemies that they can only be our enemies while supposing that we are anxiously clinging to our private property, whatever it is: our knowledge, our good name, our land, our money or the many objects we have collected around us. But who will be our robber when everything he wants to steal from us becomes our gift to him?...Who wants to sneak in our back door when our front door is wide open?"

"Poverty of the mind as a spiritual attitude is a growing willingness to recognize the incomprehensibility of the mystery of life. ...a learned ignorance...an education not to master God but to be mastered by God."

"Have less to say and much more to listen to....people whose 'not-knowing' makes them free to listen to the voice of God in the words of the peo0ple, in the events of the day and in the books containing the life experience of men and women from other places and other times....with great attention...the continual refusal to identify God with any concept, theory, document or event, thus preventing man or woman from becoming a fanatic sectarian or enthusiast, while allowing for an ongoing growth in gentleness and receptivity."

"God...cannot be defined by any specific feeling or emotion....avoid adapting God to our small concepts...and our small feelings...poverty of the heart creates community since it is not in self sufficiendy but in a creative interdependedncy that the mystery of life unfolds itself to us."

"Training for service...not a training to become rich but to become voluntarily poor; not to fill ourselves but to empty ourselves, not to conquer God but to surrender to his saving power. ..hard to accept in our world which tells us about the importance of power and influence....we should like Paul, boast in our weakness."

Stay tuned in future for Henri Nouwen's thought on prayer.
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New Ariannaism: We were hiking yesterday in the Shenandoah's/Appalachian trail (yes we were all off and all free and actually had an entire family day!!!!!!!!) when we passed by some growths on a tree. Elizabeth thought they look like ice cream. She asked what they were. I replied that I thought they were fungus. I also said they were kind of funky. So Arianna says, "Well they are funkus!"

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Haggai talks about the people dwelling in nice houses while the Lord's house just sat in ruins, unfinished. The point: Do we care about our own stuff and kingdom or God's? How much time am I spending on my cares, worries, and stuff instead of God and His "stuff"? Then I remember, oh yeah, God, and give him "blemished sacrifices", easy things for me to do so I can "get Him off my back" so to speak. So I harvest but God blows it away, I drink but am thirsty. God wants my (and your) attention. He comes up with some interesting and difficult ways to get it. In Haggai I thought it was interesting that they were having a drought and their land was only producing half of what it should. Sound like our area? Hope you are convicted. I was! Read Haggai-only 2 jam packed chapters.

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School is almost half way over. I have settled in and am doing well. It is a lot to think about and learn and I wonder how God is going to use me and all this learning.

God takes joy in me?!

I was finishing up Zephaniah and read in ch 3 verses 15 and 17 the concept that God exults with shouts of joy over me! (in this case Israel). This, I admit, is hard for me to grasp. I can grasp taking joy in God because He is so wonderful, but most of the time, I feel like I let people and God down. I am disappointing. I sin against them. I am selfish. Yet He looks on me with joy and renews my heart. I have been struggling with school (what else is new?) and God reminded me that He surrounds me, takes joy in me, and renews my heart. When someone believes in you and takes joy in you, doesn't it make your steps a little lighter, your face smile, and your heart flutter? Sounds like first love. I want to stay in love with God. After all, He promises to stay in love with me!

Parents and children

From Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen:

Regarding parents and children:

"children are not properties to own and rule over, but gifts to cherish and care for. Our children are our most important guests, who enter into our home, ask for careful attention, stay for a while and then leave to follow their own way. Children are stragngers whom we have to get to know.They have their own style, their own rhythm and their own capacities for good and evil."

"What parents can offer is a home, a place that is receptive but also has the safe boundarries within which their children can develop and discover what is helpful and what is harmful....can ask questions without fear and can experiment with life without experiencing rejection."

"many parents suffer from deep guilt feelings toward their children, thinking that they are responsible for everything their sons or daughters do. but again...children are not properties that we can control...they are guests... gifts from God"

"The temptation is... to cling to our children, to use them for our own unfulfilled needs and to hold on to them, suggesting in many direct and indirect ways that they owe us so much."

"A good host (in this case, parent) is not only able to receive his guests with honor and offfer them all the care they need but also to let them go when their time to leave has come."

This part really hit home for me as I tend to fall into the temptations to own my children and that I am totally responsible for them and only need to control them more. It scares me to think that one of my children might go astray, but that is where trusting God comes in. And therein lies a lot of my problems-often, I really don't trust God!

Silence before God

I dislike the beginning of a new class. I just started my new course on Monday of this week and they hit you with all your assignments and what you should learn. 8 discussion boards with responses, 2 tests, 2 journal article summaries, ethics code analysis paper, research paper, tons of reading "and a partridge in a pear tree"! I just keep telling myself that God wants me to do this and will enable me to do it. The break was good and bad at the same time-good for the rest but bad because I got out of my groove. I am praying to get back in the groove.

I have been reading Zephaniah lately. I have been convicted about a couple of verses:

Zephaniah 1:7 Be silent before the Lord God. For the day of the Lord is near, for the Lord has prepared a sacrifice, He has consecrated His guests" I have been convicted about practicing the spiritual disciplines of prayer, bible study and meditation, and solitude. I need to practice more silence and waiting before the Lord. He knows what He is doing and I often do not! So why do I plan and talk so much? The day of the Lord refers to Jesus' return which for us will be glorious. So I will wait, be silent, and trust God.

Zephaniah 1:12 (The day of the Lord) It will come about at that time that I (God) will search Jerusalem with lamps and I will punish men who are stagnant in spirit, who say in their hearts,"the Lord will not do good or evil". vs 13 Moreover, their wealth will become plunder and their houses desolate, yes they will build houses but not inhabit them, and plant vineyards, but not drink their wine..."

Amos 6:1 Woe to those who are at ease in Zion (America), to those who feel secure in the mountains of Samaria..."

I question myself, am I stagnant in spirit? Am I so concerned about the creation and not the Creator? Am I preoccupying myself with the temporal things here on earth? Am I so proud that I think I am making things come to pass and that God is not do anything but just sitting somewhere up there looking on? May I always look to God and never be at ease and secure with the things and people here on earth.

Ah the Fall-my favorite season

School and activities are in full swing but I don't seem to be a lunatic this year. Maybe it is because I have such good friends to carpool with, or maybe because Dave and I made sure we streamlined what the kids were going to do and actually thought and prayed about each one, or maybe I have finally gotten a grip and decided to be peaceful in the midst of this crazy area with my crazy schedule. Anyway, I am pleased that I have not been hyperventilating lately.

The newest Arianna item: raw onions on ice cream-that's right. We were at my company picnic at Pratt and there was free ice cream so Arianna grabbed a cone. There was also free hamburgers with all the fixings. I happened to look across the table and saw the onions on her ice cream like sprinkles. All of us almost threw up, but she "liked it". She likes raw onions and ice cream so why not put them together? Logical.

David has amazed me lately. For those of you who think he is quiet, you need to be a fly on the wall at our home lately. He is mister outgoing and funny guy. I am glad he is so happy and that he is doing well and enjoying High school and marching band. He has lots of goals too, which I am amazed. The other day we were watching home movies of him as a 2 yrs old. What a cutey. Hard to believe he is the same little boy now.

It is so nice and cool. I love it. I have so much more energy and I don't sweat so much (I bet you are all glad about that).

Time to make hot soup!

School starts

School has officially started as of Tuesday. All seem to be adjusting well. I am glad we are back to a routine and that they are learning again.

We did enjoy our last weekend though. I got out of work early Friday and took the kids to the mall, Cheeseburger in Paradise (which was surprisingly good, Dave met us there) and then to Funland for unlimited rides and attractions. We went go carting, frog leaping, bumper boating, and mini golfing (where Keilan only beat Nancy by 3 points!) We were there from 8-11:30pm which is a good deal for unlimited. ($20) This happens every Friday nightat Funland.

Saturday we had some good friends over-2 Brazilian sisters and families. There were 7 adults and 10 kids here! Keilan speaks portugese so they were chatting away.

Sunday was church, church picnic (at which I was glad to chat with new people (to me) and older friends. Then went to another friend's house for the last time in the pool.

Monday we "Ihop"ed (my favorite breakfast restaurant) then went to Great Falls, it was hot, the kids were crabby, but it was still beautiful. The houses on the way are really something-mansions, almost castles. I pray that those people use their houses for good in hospitality and service but fear that many probably do not. Even as a large family and with 4 kids, we don't get invited to people's homes much. Many women don't want their house messed up. We finished out at Carlos O'kellys (yuk-only went b/c we had 3 coupons-next time we will give them away).

More quotes from Reaching Out-we finished the part for now on Solitude (I bet you all are thrilled)
This part is on reaching out to others: from hostility to hospitality.

Creating space for strangers
"Our society seems to be increasingly full of fearful, defensive, aggressive people anxiously clinging to their property and inclined to look at their surrounding world with suspicion, always expecting an enemy to suddenly appear, intrude and do harm. But still-that is our vocation: to convert...the enemy into a guest and to create the free and fearless space where brotherhood and sisterhod can be formed and fully experienced."

"Hospitality, therefore, means primarily the creation of a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy...not to change people but to offer them a space where change can take place...not to bring them over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines...not to lead our neighbors into a corner where there are no alternatives left, but to open a wide spectrum of options for choice and commitment...not an educated intimidation with good books...but the liberation of fearful hearts so that words can find roots and bear ample fruit....The paradox of hospitality is that it wants to create emptiness, not a fearful emptiness, but a friendly emptiness where strangers can enter and discover themselves as created free; free to sing their own songs, speak their own languages, dance their own dances; free also to leave and follow their own vocations...Hospitality is not a subtle invitation to adopt the lifestyle of the host, but the gift of a chance for the guest to find his own."

"Empty space tends to create fear. As long as our minds, hearts and hands are occupied we can avoid confronting the painful questions, to which we never gave mujch attention and which we do not want to surface. "Being busy" has become a status symbol, and most people keep encouraging each other to keep their body and mind in constant motion....Occupation and not empty space is what most of us are looking for. When we are not occupied we become resless...even fearful. Being busy, active and on the move has nearly become part of our constitution...We have become a very preoccupied people, afraid of unnamable emptiness and silent solitude."

To convert hostility to hospitality requires the creation of the friendly empty space where we can reach out to our fellow human beings and invite them to a new relationship."

Next: Showing hospitality to our own children?! Stay tuned.

couple more ariannaisms

ice cream to has cream
sleeping beauty to sleeping Judy (Dave's doing)
mutual edification to nutual edification

Grades and Ariannaisms

I have 2 A's so far. God is not only giving me wisdom and ability to do this master's, but then confirming it with A's. I was excited. My professor also gave me what courses to take this whole next year. I am enjoying the break right now and have started reading my next course's books.

Some words Arianna has changed:

Caterpillar to Calipitter
Playground to Prayground
Bathing suit to Babing suit
Hospital to hostitable

We biked from Fall Hill Avenue canal path area down to Fredericksburg, Sophia street. Arianna is doing pretty well. They had discovery days there, celebrating 400 yrs of VA settlement. John Smith's boat, an actual exploring boat that was being manned by 12 young people covering 6 states waterways, Indian reenactments, Soldier displays, etc. It was cute. Some family time-Yay!

More quotes and school is over for now

I am done with 6 credits as of Sunday! I have a break now until September 17th which is much needed. He hasn't graded my last test, but I did well and enjoyed the rest of the assignments. I have the books for my next class and boy are they looloos! I will start reading them early.

Dave and I were married 17yrs on Saturday, August 11th. I got us both nice watches.

Here are more quotes from Reaching Out:

Solitude of the heart is what counts, and is "one of the human capacities that can exist, be maintained and developed in the center of a big city, in the middle of a large crowd and in the context of a very active and productive life....A man or woman who has developed this solitude of heart is no longer pulled apart by the most divergent stimuli of the surrounding world but is able to perceive and understand this world from a quiet inner center."

"with a solitude of the heart, we can listen with attention to the words and the world of others, but when we are driven by loneliness, we tend to select just those remards and events that bring immediate satisfaction to our own craving needs."

"be patient to all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves..." Yikes, this is not me yet!

"It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brothers."

"Without the solitude of heart, our relationships with others easily become needy and greedy, sticky and clinging, dependent and sentimental, exploitative and parasitic, because without the solitude of heart we cannot experience the others as different from ourselves, but only as people who can be used for the fulfillment of our own, often hidden, needs."

When we are with others we should say as a friend in the book said to the author, "I simply want to celebrate some time with you."

I hope you are as convicted as I am after reading these or perhaps you have attained this solitude. How wonderful if you have.

Last week I was in NYC touring and visiting my brother. Our last morning there, there was a great rain and storms and water flooded the subway. A tornado also touched down in Brooklyn which is very odd. (I think it was because I was there). Anyway, all those people who could not get in the subway or buses, were walking on the streets/sidewalks. What a mass of people! It was very hot to top it off. I felt closed in. I thought it was busy in the Washington DC area-Ha! It would take me a while to feel peaceful in the midst of that, but God is not asking me to move there, but only to be content and peaceful right where I am. This is my challenge to myself and you wherever you are.

Some Quotes

I promised some quotes from these books I am reading because I am getting so much out of them:

Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen:

He speaks about the spiritual life and what he calls its 3 poles that we vacillate between:
1. Loneliness and solitude
2. Hostility and hospitality
3. Illusions and prayer

These quotes are from the first part:

"When we have no project to finish, no friend to visit, no book to read, no television to watch or no record to play, and when we are left all alone by ourselves we are brought so close to the revelation of our basic human aloneness and are so afraid of experiencing an all-pervasive sense of loneliness that we will do anything to get busy again and continue the game which makes us believe that everything is fine after all."

"By running away from our loneliness and by trying to distract ourselves with people and special experiences, we do not realistically deal with our human predicament. We are in danger of becoming unhappy people suffering from many unsatisfied cravings and tortured by desires and expectations that never can be fulfilled." because

"No friend or lover, no husband or wife, no community or commune will be able to put to rest our deepest cravings for unity and wholeness...Friendship and love cannot develop in the form of an anxious clinging to each other."

"To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of our loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude...Do not run, but be quiet and silent. Listen attentively to your own struggle."

Stay tuned for more on solitude or read the book!

The Drawers Won't Open

I promised Cindy I would post this so this is for you. Sorry it took so long and left you in suspense:

I was in Walmart a couple of weeks ago with all 4 kids (oh the joys of summer!). In the center of the main aisle where all the "we hope you buy all this stuff so we put it in the center aisle"is, were some plastic drawers. I stopped, of course because that is the point, and thought out loud that maybe these drawers would help our mess in the basement office-organizing. Then I tried to open the drawers-they wouldn't budge. So I said, "What is the point of these? The drawers don't even open!" So Jonny wisely says, "Mom (in his head-you dolt), they are taped shut! You would have to remove the tape." To which all four were almost on the floor laughing and now, almost every time they see me they say, "What's wrong with these drawers, they won't open" So mom the dolt will never live this down now. But it is good wholesome family laughter and keeps me humble.

Hope you get a laugh out of this too.

Books and Pray without Ceasing

Some books to recommend to you:
Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis (can't believe I haven't read this before)
I will quote from these in near future as I have time.

I have been convicted to pray more so pray I pray more!

School and a walk in the woods

I finished my first course earning my first 3 credits toward my master's degree. I am currently in the middle of my second course. After this summer, I will only have 54 credits to go!

Tuesday we went to Locust Shade Park which is a bit north of Stafford on route 1. If you haven't been there, it is very pretty. Lots of paths in the woods, a creek, a pond, cute ducks, etc. Anyway, of course Arianna had "to go". She picks the most inoportune times to do this. Of course, there is no port-a-potty in site and no bathroom. She's jumping up and down. Off to a semi remote place in the woods. At least she had a skirt on (fancy that-her favorite article of clothing). "Squat" I say, and "don't get it on your shoes". She manages to go on the leaves and steps over them saying "ewww, gross". Wiping with a leaf was gross too. We walk back to our group and she says, "Wow, that was my first pee in the woods!" Yeah well, don't get too excited about that achievement. My friend says now she will want to go in the woods every chance she gets. As we walk back, of course a few yards away around the bend is a port a potty!

A possible loss

This past week on Tuesday, I was expecting Dave to come home between 6-7pm , his usual time. I was busy with kids, cooking dinner, had other kids over, etc. I kept thinking that any minute he was going to come in the door. Well, 8pm rolled around and the kids even asked where he was, then I got scared. Perhaps he left me because I have been such a shrew lately. I wouldn't blame him. That was out of character for him though. Then I thought that perhaps he was in an accident and he couldn't call me. But surely someone would call me? I didn't know who to call. I called his cell phone and work phone and only got answering machines. I was almost in tears. For that hour or so I really thought I had lost him. Finally at 9pm he called and said he was on his way home, that he had had a dinner meeting with work which he had told me about the night before and he said I had okayed it. This is probably true, but I had totally blacked out the conversation. Now some of you are thinking, "boy, Alzheimer's is starting early for her", but I realized the next day that perhaps God purposefully erased the conversation with Dave to help me realize what I have in Dave and to be more grateful and appreciative for not only what he does, but for who he is and what a hole he would leave in my life and many, many others if he were gone. So I am humbled and thrilled to pieces that I have such a man still. I hope God will let me grow old with him.

Finishing Well

I was able to go to Ohio on Memorial Day weekend to visit with Dave's family. It was very nice and a good break. While I was there , I asked my sister-in-law how her parents were doing. She said not very well and that they were both going down hill. I've known people that I feel have ended their life uphill. Now I don't mean physically because we all go downhill that way and die. I mean mentally, emotionall, and especially spiritually. My other friend says that is too vague a goal and that those people were always uphill. That is true to a extent but I want to grow and strengthen my good qualities that I already have then, and decrease the negative ones. (Control my reaction to stress, for example, most or all of the time). I want to finish the race God gave me to run well. I know He can keep changing me for the better and can perfect His work in me and I want that to be obvious until the end. So I continue on the road uphill. May you tackle the hill in your life.

Good memories and feelings

The other day I was at the gym listening to my Ipod, and the song by Mark Schulz came on:When you come home. He really does know how to get you crying. Anyway, the chorus is:
When you come home, no matter how far, open the door and into my arms, that's where you are loved, that's where you belong,I will be here, when you come home. So I got to thinking about my mom first and how I would be sad from something that happened at school, and I would come home and cry and sit in her lap and tell her all about it. As I got older, I didn't sit in her lap but she always came in my room and sat on my bed and would listen and then try to talk to me.Then I got to thinking of my dad, and how he always called me "mush" and told me how pretty I was and that I was going to make some man pretty happy someday. And I could just sit next to him and snuggle and not say anything and be totally comfortable. Then more people that have died came flooding into my mind, and all the good memories I have of them. Several of them have died this past year, and while it makes me sad, then I got a vision of heaven and what it must be like to die and have all those people waiting for you after you worship and love on Jesus first. I thanked God for the good memories and the peace and happiness they brought and for the anticipation to go to heaven. Of course, I'm on the elliptical and blubbering-good thing I had a towel so I could pretend to wipe off the "sweat".

That brings me to my good feelings for Dave-I have been struggling with my life and then trying now to do school (almost done with 2 weeks by the way), and he is being so helpful. Right now he is cooking us up something. I couldn't charge my Ipod the other night, so he comes right into the gym and brings it to me charged before leaving for work-a small thing you say, but so meaningful to me. He really is something and yet I can get so irritated at him! I always tell him I can't believe how much he puts up with me. But I am grateful, and I hope I do make him happy as my father predicted. He certainly gives me great joy while I have to be here on earth. So the Karen Carpenter song came on: Why do birds suddenly appear every time, you are near, just like me, they want to be, close to you...Corny song you say, but listen to it some time and the words. They work for me. Still blubbering....

More thoughts on Iceland

I have more pictures of Iceland and Honduras if you ever want to see them I was going to try to scrapbook them but that isn't happening anytime soon.

We were able to attend Bible study the first night we were there on Good Friday. Several people were there. Justin led it but the people talked. I was able to mention a few words of encouragement. I also met several Icelanders that night. Diana said she would take us to the Golden Circle, which is a circular route, tour of the church, geyser, water fall and something else we missed. She did take us there God bless her, on Tuesday pretty much all day. Needless to say, we made dinner for her. She is a young graduate from their secondary school and goes to an active christian youth group and is going to a christian leadership school soon in Australia. She was very kind to take us on that tour.
We also attended Bible study the following Friday with a few other people we hadn't met yet. One was from China, one from the Philippines but the rest were Icelanders. We met an interesting young man who was really an entrepeneur. He was an actor in commercial and small films, director, producer, singer,etc. I found him fascinating. He rented a bar one night so he could gather a bunch of people together and encourage them in the Lord. There was no alcohol there that night. He had music and dancing and lots of talking and believe me he knows lots of people! We did not go to this party but would have liked to. He tries to do interesting things to attract people to Christ. He also is tall and very thin and eats like a machine. He cleaned out all my leftovers! He took us around Friday night after eating at 1030pm out on the town so we could see what Icelanders do every Friday and Saturday night until about 4am-they cruise the town, walk all over, visit all the open bars, drink, dance, yell and who knows what else. Partying is all important. Yet they are empty.
I went to a small Bible study on Wednesday night-we met in this woman's home which was so tiny yet she had about 8 cats! Justin ended up in an allergic reaction after that. She had one son. She apparently had experienced a lot of sufferring whether of her own accord or just because. She was encouraged by us.
When we were there so was a group of 5 from Point of Grace church in FA. They went out to cafes and pools and tried to strike up conversations too.

Monday we went shopping in town at the stores-very expensive. They are known for their wool products and scarfs. Arianna and I got scarves. Also, pretty hair accessories, purses, boys got hoodies. We handed out tracks in town on Sunday afternoon. We went to a small indoor pool on Saturday. Went to a larger one on Monday and another day-both times walking there over 45minutes-once in the whipping rain and wind. We went to the Pearl 2x, to another pool called the Blue lagoon right before our return on April 15th. This pool was also hot but had a lot of minerals and silica in it. It was blue-hence the name and had a bunch of white mud that we pasted all over ourselves. Supposed to be good for the skin, but we had a terrible time getting it out of our hair for days afterwards. Before all the pools, one had to shower or get fined. Women just walk around naked in these showers and locker rooms and I hear the men do too. This was difficult for us and my girls eyes almost popped out of their heads.

Cindy and I did a lot of cooking for everyone, cleaning the apartment, watching kids,etc. So in that way we ministered.

We went to church in the evening on Easter Sunday also-it was a new church started in a school called SALT. An appropriate name since it is one of the only truly salty churches spiritually. It was in Icelandic but we had an interpreter. What a hard language that is. We met very nice people there who were encouraged by our presence. The pastor and wife invited us for dinner which we went to on thurday night. What a delicious meal and what fascinating people. They had been missionaries in Africa for 12 years and had to return for the wife's health. But now they are trying to awaken Iceland to the Lord. So they have been much encouraged by our presence there this year. I was very encouraged by them in learning to discern how I will know if the Lord wants us to do more with missions. I am excited we were able to do Honduras and Iceland this year to start. She fed 11 of us, her 4 grown children and 3 of their spouses. Lots of people but what a welcoming home.
Thanks to all of you who are interested in us to pray and support our missions this year. We would be glad to share more in the future with you about these trips and others God may lead us to.

More Iceland Pictures

This is our son David and Justin Grack, the 19 yr old from our church that was there helping Colby,Pastor Bill and whoever else came to Iceland. In this picture they are on top of the thermodynamic storage building called "the Pearl" b/c of its dome shaped top. There is always wind in Iceland (and I thought South Dakota was bad). On this day the wind was actually holding us up as in this picture or knocking us down as it did Arianna. It made it always cold there-new meaning to the term "wind chill factor". It is murder for contact lens wearers like me.
We were very surprised at all the grafitti in Iceland-especially in the main city where we stayed. This is just one sample of it. The Icelanders pride themselves on their conservation of energy due to their heating all their homes and buildings with hydrothermic heat, but they did not recycle, there was garbage everywhere and then the grafitti!
This is by the Atlantic Ocean on the sculpture called "The Sun Voyager". Here are the kids. There were six kids together for a week. They did pretty well with the food, long walks in the rain and wind, and being cooped up in the apartment sometimes for hours.
Here is one of the few pictures of Dave and I. I have never worn a hat so much in all my life! I was glad I had my warm coat, hat, and gloves.

Iceland Project

The main city in Iceland with over 100,000 people is Reyjkavik. This is where we stayed and where the University is.This is a picture of the state Lutheran church. We actually went to the English service there on Easter. Even on Easter there was hardly anyone there. The state church does not have really any effect on the people there-it is just a tradition-get baptized as a baby, get confirmed there, and then go maybe on Christmas and Easter. That is why we went to Iceland-to help the few real, passionate christians in Iceland to start a revival and plant real, active churches. This church is in the center of the city so it helped us get our bearings often. Its bells rang every quarter of an hour. We were able to go to the top of it and see for miles around us and the bells rang while we were up there much to the enjoyment of the kids. The service we went to was more of a cutural concert to be enjoyed-the organ and the woman who sang were just beautiful, but as far as encouraging my relationship to God, it fell flat.
This is another church out in the country outside the city. It is built near ruins of a church and political center from the 1200's.









This is a geyser-Iceland is on top of very hot water hence where they get all their hydrothermic energy and hot water from. We stood very close to it and watched it
bubble until finally it shot up in the air as seen in this picture. I found them fasinating. If you touched the water even after it was on the ground it would burn you. We watched it go up several times and it surprised us every time. We are so impressed with how amazing God is in His creations of these natural phenomena.

This is the waterfall we had the privilege of going to. It was also spectacular but we did have to
watch the children like hawks as there was no fence or barrier between them and the falls. We saw a beautiful rainbow in them. There was a story about a woman who was protesting the damming of this river and she jumped off these falls in protest. Bill was filming us and asked us if any of us would like to volunteer and be like her. We of course could not hear him over the roar of the falls so we all waved at him. But we are back safe and sound in America.

Here we with the whole family and with Colby, Haley, and Darcy (in stroller) Annie was taking the picture. We were able to see the Garmans
our youth pastor, for only a few

hours. Here was our itinerary:
We were picked up in the church van at 3pm from our home by Pastor Bill and drove up to Baltimore airport. Waited there a while and finally flew out on Icelandaire at 7pm. We did not get to Iceland until April 6th, Friday morning-flight took 5.5hrs and then the time difference was 4 hours. I was so tired that I slept from 12-4 so didn't see the Garmans very long. It took me a couple of days to not feel so tired. This didn't happen as bad on the way home.The plane was also very cramped on the way there.

The value of mothers

Last week, Reuters reported that a stay at home mom would earn $138,095 as an annual wage. Paul Spears, a professor at the Torrey Honors Institue at Biola University, wrote about this last week. I encourage you to read this post in its entirety to gain a deeper understanding of everything moms do.

Quoting Paul,

I look at all that women do, and I am overwhelmed. I am not foolish enough to think that I can properly undertake all that they do, and do it with the same skill and grace. I look at the number of 138,095, and as I think of it that seems like a gross underestimation of what they truly deserve, but as this Mothers Day comes along (May 13) we need to remember the types of sacrifices our wives and mothers made for us. We need to realize how easy it is to undervalue all that they do. We need to take the time to express to them just how much we appreciate all that they take on daily. No, $138,095 cannot properly express all of the love, time, concerns and prayers our wives and mothers give to us daily.

Nancy, I don't understand everything you do but I know you do so much with passion, love and excellence. You are a great mother to our family and we appreciate and love you for all you do.

Excellent Reading

This past fall, I had the chance to attend a 3 day seminar at Biola University with Colby Garman. The course was taught by J.P. Moreland regarding the culture we live in, world views and a discussion on what he called the Kingdom Triangle. J.P. Moreland is publishing a new book called Kingdom Triangle and it should be excellent reading.

J.P. Moreland and other professors at Biola write a great blog called Scriptorium Daily. I highly recommend it for excellent thought provoking discussions on world views, politics and how to think biblically in the upcoming election and a host of other things that cause one to think.

School

I have started school-I almost quit before I started -this is very difficult for me. But now I have started, so here goes. If I quit now, I would lose money and feel like a failure, so that is motivating me. I hope to get in the swing and some kind of groove soon. I had a 250 word "paper" to do this week and post on the discussion board with references and over 100 pages to read (one being an article where I had to read almost every sentence twice to get it-definetely not fluff reading). Then I suppose I should try to get ahead and start next week's assignments and the research paper that is due at the end of the 8 weeks-now almost down to seven. This is hard for me-not to get freaked out by all this and not having the book. I am trying to take a deep breath and pray. I am so weak still in this area though.

My son David just ran the 400meter in his first track meet today-fun to watch him and my other friends' kids.

Elizabeth did her focus project today-after they lost her original display board (or someone took it), and she redid the display. God bless her and her calm attitude. They said she did well.

It's been a month!

I started school so I am going to have to write quick and more frequently.

My son, David, is now taller than me! This seemed to happen in a matter of a couple of weeks! I think he has finally started his growth spurt. His voice is also changing. So he is already over 5ft 3 inches at age 13. We will see. He runs track now in addition to school, saxophone, and soccer. The other day he told me they ran 4.5miles, did 205 crunches, and some sprints at track and then he went to soccer practice for 1 1/2 hrs! Needless to say, he is eating like a machine!